Thursday, May 31, 2007

It's been a while

Sorry it's been so long since I last blogged. I haven't felt like typing out my feelings for a while.

I've been having a rollercoaster of emotions wash over me this past month or so. First I was selected for jury duty. Long story short...I was part of the final 14 jurors for a nasty sexual assualt trial. I sat there for 4 days listening and watching and witnessing the testimony and evidence. It was incredibly hard to watch. It drudged up a lot of repressed memories I had from when I was first married. My ex husband did a lot of the same awful things to me that this guy did to his ex-girlfriend. I thought I was fine. I remained focused and I took many pages of very detailed notes. Right before deliberations I found out I was an alternate juror and I was just crushed. I cried in that courtroom and all the way home. I never got closure.

It's been a few weeks since the trial ended and I'm doing better. I did find out that the other 12 jurors found him guilty. I had to process my own emotions and I have been praying a lot for peace. God is listening because he has put peace into my heart. I'll be fine once more.

I'm struggling with my weight loss journey. I was doing wonderfully on WW until the trial kicked in to high gear. I fell off my journaling that week. I've been struggling to get back on.

Today is my husband's birthday. I will have some cake but I will journal it. I also promised my friend that I would train with her for a 5K. I found a program called couch to 5K and I'm determined to make through the 9 week lesson. I want to start tomorrow. God give me the willpower because I need it.

My best friend and sister in law is pregnant! I'm so excited for them! I have just one niece and she's 13 years old. I'm so excited to have another niece or nephew finally! They got pregnant their first month of trying. God really does work miracles! She's having some morning sickness but it's not too terrible. We all went camping this past weekend and she puked for the first time. But I kept telling her that it was a very good sign. Her levels are high and the baby is healthy. I secretly hope she has a girl. She needs a daughter.

Well I need to get off this computer and get some house work done.

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